I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
