just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
