I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
