yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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