If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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