You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
