Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
barbara walters just said penis...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize