I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
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