I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
