Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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