i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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