Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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