Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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