8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
