Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
