I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize