I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize
