wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
