is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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