matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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