Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
