She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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