we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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