Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm having to shit out rocks
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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