Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize