Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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