bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
