this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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