Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
