My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
