With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
And then my night got REAL pukey
We're too hungover to prance.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
