Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
