YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
