hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
