Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
