I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
