He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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