I wish I could teleport
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
50% drunk capacity currently
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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