video games are the ultimate cock blocker
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
