I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize