The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
