I just made out with a guy for $7.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
