She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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