guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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