Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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