there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize