They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
