Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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