then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
