i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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