youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
