i don't like sucking hair
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
