we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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