the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
